Saturday, March 23, 2013

Mom, Woman of Faith 3-23

This week, I have been asked to reflect on a question of my choosing  for the Mom, Woman of Faith series through Nancy, at her blog, Do small things with love. I immediately chose this one as it resonated with me so strongly.
How has God worked on your heart and changed you since you became a mother? 
Here is my response and some of the other ladies who bravely decided to respond as well!

Welcome back to "Mom: Woman of Faith".  Each Saturday a group of moms respond to a question essential to our lives as Christians and Mothers.  It is our hope that this series will spark reflection and growth for all those involved.  Please feel free to add your thoughts here or on facebook.  Thanks for being here, and for sharing in our journey as Christians and mothers.  We are always looking for more contributors!  Email nancy if interested.

This week's Question:
How had God worked on your heart and changed you since you became a mother?

Small Things
The one positive (although painful) change I can say I have definitely undergone since becoming a mother is that God has asked me to surrender my pride.  Not only am I often doing things I once thought myself too proud to do (mostly involving poop), but I also am living a life I once looked down on (although I never would have admitted this!).  

As a stay at home mom, my job is laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, nursing the baby and playing trucks with the toddler.  Rarely do I get to read the latest book, let alone see the latest movie.  When friends get together and are talking about these things, I am clueless...when just a few years ago I prided myself on always being in the know.  Instead, the Lord has asked me to live a very humble life.  When I was teaching before I became a mother, I often felt overlooked and under-appreicated, but the truth is that I was constantly getting praise and feedback.  I was a person of authority and knowledge.  Now, the feedback I receive comes sometimes in a hug, but more often in a fit or spit-up down my back.  the Lords has asked me to become like his mother.  I must become smaller so that my children can grow.

I have come to love my life, and I praise God that through this life I have become more child-like.  Without (or, with less of) the adult pride I used to have I feel that I am able to love my children better--and love the Lord better too!
Storybook Reality
Before I had my first baby a friend of mine told me how having her children exposed so much of her own sinfulness.  I never quite  understood that until I had children of my own.  I see my own sinfulness reflected in them but more so in the way I respond to them and others.
I am more tired, have less time to myself and do more "dirty" work than at any other time in my life.  Gone are the days of dressing in heels and pearls for work.  Wait, scratch that.  I never did that.  But you know what I mean.  As Mother's we trade a life that can be pretty self-centered to one that becomes much more family centered (obviously both being God-centered).  Motherhood is hard.  Parenthood is hard.  It is basically putting the needs of your children above your wants.  I would have loved to have napped today.  Or read a book.  Or even sat down alone for 10 minutes.  But it just didn't happen.  And I can choose to repsond to days and situations like that in love or another way.
I think that is why the blogging community CAN be so encouraging for mothers.  If you are honest it does help others to see that sometimes you don't manage to shower.  Or that you ordered pizza twice once week because you just couldn't handle making diiner!
One of the biggest ways God has changed my heart is in the way I see Him, especialy as a Father figure.  When I think of the love that He had for us to sacrific His son for our sins I am blown away every time.  It's not like I didn't understand this concept before.  But now when I think about my babies and how I am heartbroken when a little kid looks at them the wrong way, let alone choosing to sacrifice them....I am just awed at the deep deep love of our Father in heaven. 
Ulimately Motherhood has made me slow down.  I try to be slower to anger....I try to slow down to enjoy those picture perfect moments....and mostly I'm slow because it takes me forever to get all three of us out the door :)  But i'm learning!  And I know God will continue to mold and make my heart into that of a Godly Mama!
Joy and Gladness of Heart

Because change happens so gradually, sometimes you don't notice it until you are asked to think about it.  This is the case with me at times.  Reflecting back, I can think of the first time I noticed God changing my heart.  I was 2 or 3 months pregnant and I had the hormones of both estrogen and testosterone surging through my body.  All of the sudden I loved watching football with my husband but also liked getting dressed up and wearing jewelry to accessorize.  Both of these things are not very typical of me outside of being pregnant.  I was watching the news with my husband in our bedroom when they began showing coverage of the devastating earthquake in Haiti.  There was a young woman, a mother, trapped underground, under piles of rubble, and worse- she was pregnant.  They showed her crying and pleading for her young life while taking sips of water through a straw that they managed to get to her through all of the debris.  I lost it.  I sobbed and could not control my tears at the thought of her being responsible for a new life and the thought of not being able to take care of herself after such devastation.  

I felt her pain and the pain of other women and children who were victims of that particular devastation.  Aside from that, I just began to feel more empathy and sympathy for others in general.  My focus went from my needs and even my husband's at times, to what my kids were going to need and how I could meet those new needs.  

It goes with out saying, but it is not abnormal for my needs and sleep to get pushed aside as I give my last piece of cake to my daughter or lose rest because I let my son kick me in the back all night.  These are things I will gladly give up for the joy that comes along with the rest of the package and the giggles that I hear all day as they grow into the kids God created them to be - with my help.

Thank you for being a part of this week's Mom, Woman of Faith.  For next week's question click here.


  1. Wow, Kelly. I was so touched to read your response to this prompt and hear how God has used motherhood to help you grow in your selflessness. I think it's such a beautiful thing to hear about your willingness to give up what so many of us cherish (comfort, luxuries, sweets!) in order to better love your family. What a great segue into this holy week!

  2. Oh yes. Seeing my own sinful nature in my children stinks. I hate when they whine and complain, but when I swallow my pride and really look at it, I know they learn that from me. Argh!


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